The hands of a fourth grader held mine. The hands of a fourth grader who has probably seen more in his short life than he ever should, held mine. The hands of a boy that has a purpose on this earth. The hands of a boy that God will shine His light through...I left in tears. I never expected those precious hands, and I never expected that prayer.
This crazy journey started a year ago. A year ago I felt God urging me, telling me, pressing on my heart to go take a tour of Generation One Academy, a free private school in Houston's impoverished 3rd ward. I felt it. I knew it. And I lay on the altar every measly excuse I had: Grace was not in school yet, the drive was almost 45 minutes, I couldn't possibly go there often, I was supposed to be spending time with Grace and how could I trade that time for time with other children...And my life went on. The tug would come and go. My no would resurface and I would tell Jesus more reasons why I could not go visit this school. My no did not affect me in the least...a little guilt here and there, sure, but I was teaching a few Bible studies and doing my part to live the gospel out loud...the tug at my heart would pass after awhile.
This summer God jumped into my heart with a thought which knocked my socks off:
Where do you know God to have idle words? When in the Old Testament or New do you know God to chit chat or make small talk? When God speaks He has spoken. When He tells you to go do something He means it.
He does mean what He says, ya know.
And I started to think about Jesus in the New Testament, how He never chit chats. Jesus never says, "We should get together sometime." If He says He is going to your house for dinner, He is on His way. He never says, "Weigh the pros and cons of following me, and get back to me later with what you think." He says, "Follow Me." People either do or they don't.
And I started to feel it again...that tug, that nudge, that voice to go tour Generation One. Go see what Jesus is doing with 44 students at a school committed to pouring out a Savior all over some of God's children who are growing up amidst drugs, hopelessness and filth. I knew He had spoken so, on August 29th I finally went.
When you turn into the 3rd ward, you wonder for one small moment if you are still in America. You wonder if people live in the boarded up houses, and they do. You wonder why so many young men sit aimlessly on front porch steps. You can feel the empty. You can feel the poverty. You can see it. It is a place that for many of us would feel like a nightmare outside of our master planned communities. It hits hard. It hurts.
Generation One is not housed in a fancy building. It sits smack in the middle of the 3rd ward in an old office building behind a metal fence and some barbed wire. There is not amazing signage or a pretty parking lot. It blends with its surroundings. But the moment you open the door, you absolutely know: This is where Jesus is! This is where Jesus hangs. He comes all the way to the 3rd ward to see His children who are hungry and thirsty and tired and hopeless and desperate...He comes to them because they are there and they will continue to be there and He is a Savior on a rescue mission, but not to pull them out...to raise them up!
I toured the school that day, and received hugs and love. I heard students say their class creed which included their belief that they were created in God's image, and He has a purpose for their lives. I assure you He does. I could not get enough of their joy...their love...how much I needed to hug them and touch their faces and see them smile and make them laugh...I was drawn in by my Jesus who was everywhere at that school. My heart was bursting and breaking. When I got home, I got on my face to praise Jesus. I felt so unworthy of His kind of joy. I couldn't stop praising Him...telling Him I would go, I would help set up a special education program, help find resources, do what I am trained to do as a special ed teacher turned stay at home mom. Clearly He would ask me to do what I have been trained to do...it made the most sense. I was perfect for the task. I could see the power point presentation rolling as I showed Jesus all that I would do for Him at Generation One. After I finished my monologue, He spoke so loudly through His word and said, "Jackie. Stop. I have something I want to do THROUGH you."
And so the adventure began. God very plainly asked me to obey Him in feeding His children. He asked me to make healthy, sack lunches for each child at Generation One. He asked me to make sure the name of each child was on their own bag, and each name was prayed over. I felt such peace knowing He would provide the hands of other women, from other churches, to help pack these lunches...He has provided the hands, and it has been amazing.
So, last Thursday, we brought the first sack lunches to Generation One. You could have mistaken it for Christmas...I expected the children to react the way my own children do when someone makes them a meal...that monotone sing song "Thank You" when the teacher says, "Class, what do we say?" I expected a thank you, but what I got was so much more...excitement over their names being on the bags, excitement over Halloween napkins and Halloween pretzels, excitement over the fact that they were prayed for, excitement over PB&J...excitement...it was contagious. And then it happened.
"Would you pray over Miss Jackie and Miss Jody?"
And these hands. That voice. Blessing my family. Lifting up my children. Asking Jesus to lay His Holy Hands upon us so we could "carry the load He has asked these ladies to carry."
Tears everywhere. There were no words. I never expected that prayer. This is what Jesus can do.
I have been drawn lately to Acts 3:1-16. It is the story of Peter and John healing a beggar at the temple gates. The beggar has been unable to walk his entire life and has been carried daily to the same temple gate. I imagine Peter and John had passed by this beggar many times on their way in and out of the temple. I imagine many days they may have barely payed attention to him. But this one particular day, they see him. They tell him they have no money, and instead heal him in the name of Jesus. Jesus gives the beggar, through Peter and John, exactly what he needs: legs that work. He begins jumping and praising God...what a crazy scene this must have been...A man was given exactly what he physically needed...he was healed right where he had always been...the same exact place he always sat...Jesus came to this destitute man through people willing to see him. He was right where he had always been.
There has been no recent famine in the land that caused the poverty in the 3rd ward. There has been no plague or war. The people are living where they have always lived...with the same needs they have always had...
There is one difference: People have decided to see them...to stop passing by...give them exactly what they need in the name of Jesus. And because of Jesus there is a light beginning to shine little by little inside the hearts of some children living in the dark neighborhoods. There is a boatload of love and joy, hope and lots of faith. This is what happens when people start saying, "YES" to Jesus and leave their excuses further behind. This is what happens when Jesus speaks.
And He is speaking, y'all. he is speaking so clearly through the hands and heart and prayers of a fourth grade boy. May he never go hungry again.
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