Today I Took A Shower...

Today I took a shower.  I have to be honest with you, it had been two (maybe three) days without a shower.  A lot has been going on, and I had generously applied more deodorant, and I have a baby, and I was kind of…just a little…seeing it as a badge of honor.  Maybe.  Maybe I was kind of enjoying that I was too busy being a mom, and running Pruning Hooks and writing and serving Jesus and getting a run in here and there and cooking dinner to shower.  Maybe I kind of liked saying it out loud a few times.  Maybe.  Now, I’m not trying to imply that I can be a little proud of my willingness to put myself last to get 900 things accomplished in just under 24 hours… but let’s just call a duck a duck and see it for what it is…I have issues with pride…they surface in my busy-ness and my service.   I can see myself as Super Woman now and again.  It’s not a good thing.  It’s just true.

So, today, I took a much needed shower.  I took my three big kiddos to school and came home and ran with the baby, Joshua, sleeping in the jogging stroller.  I prayed the whole time because that is when I pray the best…running and dying.  I felt really good about myself passing all the people walking.  I prayed and asked Jesus to speak to me.  And then I felt really good about the fact that I was jogging with my 9 month old.  Did someone get some video footage of this?  There is a woman who is almost 38 jogging with her baby and she is losing weight ladies and gentlemen!  Then I prayed some more that Jesus would show me what He needed me to do with today, and that He would speak powerfully through my life, and that He would tell me what to write about.  And then I was texting a friend while I did my cool down telling her I had remembered to send an email yesterday and setting up another gal to pack lunches and remembering another friend’s work commitment and man oh man I am on the ball!  I can really manage the heck out of my time.  Wow. 

“Dear Jesus, I am reminded of a prayer from last year someone prayed over me…that You would keep me humble…that I would be humbled.  Speak to me Jesus.  Loud.  Tell me what you want from me.  Take my day.  Take my life….I don’t know if you noticed that I am running with the baby and he is only 9 months old and I am keeping my commitments and staying on top of everything…This day belongs to you.”

 

I run inside, Joshua wakes up.  I will not be shaken.  I will still take the shower.  Joshua is playing on the floor of the bathroom as I jump into the shower and I think about how fast I can take showers because I have so much to do, and time management is my thing y’all!   The baby is now eating my husband’s beard trimmer and holding a bottle of hydrogen peroxide.  I will just set him on the floor of the shower with me because I am a good mom and the beard trimmer combined with peroxide seems like a bad mom thing .  So, we are in the shower, Joshua and I.  He is playing and I am hurrying.  And I start to hear it.  The really loud whisper in my soul:

“You are missing the point, Jackie.  You are missing the peace and quiet I am trying to give you.  You are missing the joy in a quiet day spent with your baby and God Almighty.  You are missing Me.”

I hear God.  He is so right in this crazy busy I have created this week.  I am sitting on the floor of the shower with my baby.  I am telling Joshua I love his toes and his tummy, and singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.  It is perfect.  It is what Jesus wants me to do.  It is me and my baby and he doesn’t care that I haven’t lost nearly enough weight, or that gravity is becoming my enemy.  He is smiling up at me singing. 

And then I see them.  My nails.  I have on gold solar gel something or other nails from being fancy the other weekend.  They are tacky now.  I have to get them off.  I am standing in the shower pulling fake nails off my fingers and half finishing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star because tomorrow is my son’s football game, and I can’t let these women see my nails still hanging off my fingers.  I am looking at my cute baby out of the corner of my eye and unhinging these nails from my hand.  I am a multitasking genius.  I am a time saver.  I am efficient.  I am getting clean, cleaning the baby, taking nails off, praying for people, planning my day…I am a rock star.

The baby has pooped in the shower.

Let me say that again,

 THE BABY HAS POOPED IN THE SHOWER.

I am stunned.  I am now coming up with the best way to get poop out of the shower, wash poop down the drain, clean poop off the baby, not be grossed out, keep the baby contained and keep my sanity.  I am possibly not awesome in this very naked moment.  I am possibly not a rock star as I decide to use a washcloth to pick up horrible chunky baby poop.  I am possibly not a time management genius as Joshua is crawling back out of the shower to head back to his bottle of peroxide while Mommy starts to cry just a little.  I am possibly…just possibly…missing the point on a lot of things today. 

Why am I the girl who Jesus likes to speak to through baby poop and showers?

I wish I was the girl who Jesus spoke to through ballet or origami.

In this horrible moment of baby poop and derailed awesomeness, I can hear Him saying,

 “You have missed the point, Jackie.”

The name Joshua means, The Lord Saves.  My sons name, which is said about a million and ninety two times a day means, The Lord Saves.  I am given a constant reminder that The Lord Saves all day long.  I am declaring the mighty salvation of God all day long.  He saves.  He saves from all sorts of chaos and calamity and crisis.  He saves.  Today, He is just saving me from myself. 

 

In Exodus 33, we are told that Moses had a “tent of meeting”, a place where he could go meet with the Lord.  God would speak with Moses here at the tent.  It’s a great chapter in the Old Testament where Moses has conversations with God and his face shows the glory of the Lord upon it since Moses has been speaking face to face with God.  Tucked into this chapter is one of my favorite sentences.  It is found in Exodus 33:11.

“The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend.  Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent.”

I wonder what those times were like for Joshua when Moses had left and returned to camp to tell the people all God had said, and all they needed to do.  I wonder what the quiet of that tent was like…what it felt like to sit in the place where the Creator of the Universe had spoken to your mentor.  Some scholars believe Joshua stayed behind to guard the tent against intruders, but there couldn’t have been intruders all day every day.  There must have been quiet.  There must have been peace.  These were the days that shaped Joshua.  Not all the days filled with Jordan Rivers and Jerichos…those days were way down the road…those gigantic God- is- with- you- in- this- crazy- moment days were days to act on the faith Joshua already had acquired.  These were the days that shaped the faith that would allow Joshua to be the man who could lead a nation into its promise land, a man who could lead a nation across a river at flood stage on dry ground, a man who could attack a mighty city with the battle plan of marching for seven days and trumpet sounds, a man who could tell an entire nation,

“But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living.  But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

Those are the words of a man resolute in his beliefs.  Those are the actions of a man who has secured his faith in deep conversations with the Lord.  That type of crazy action filled, nation encouraging faith comes from time spent with the Lord.  God knew that Joshua would live a life filled with battles and challenges.  He gave Joshua a lonely job in an “empty” tent during the early years of his faith journey.  But it was so much more than that…He gave Joshua quiet, peaceful moments with God.  He gave him space to learn the voice of the one true God, so when the battle raged around him, or the requests seemed beyond crazy, Joshua knew the voice of the Lord which He had learned in all those precious quiet moments.

So, it is Monday.  I am sitting quietly in my kitchen because Jesus just cleared my plans with another day of rain.  The baby is asleep, and I am drinking my 52^nd cup of coffee listening to the voice of God through the book of Joshua and Exodus.  I will not miss the point today.  I will not.  I will be completely aware of my Jordan Rivers and Jerichos which are coming in my future.  I am completely aware that the peace today comes after battles and before battles.  I am aware that God has given me time today and does not want me to fill it with extra errands or organizational excellence…He wants me to fill it with Him and His voice.  These days don’t come all that often for any of us, and when they do I typically allow myself to be consumed with pride or guilt and act accordingly.  Not today.  Not this moment.  This moment it is me and Jesus and some peace and quiet.  And I am in the arms of my Savior, wrapped in His voice reminding me this peace was not earned…this peace was won by Him alone…and I will not miss the point at all today.

Shalom, Y’all.